Zell Has Got To Go
by HollowUndone
Summary: The universe seems to be against Zell today as he struggles to find a working bathroom and whats this seifer is on the prowl. SeiferxZell


**This is a story that I wanted to be both realistic and funny, I hope you all like it please try to review as I would really appreciate it. **

**Thank You. **

Zell Has Got To Go

"Got to go, Got to go, GOT TO GO!" chanted Zell as he rampaged his way through the halls like a charging and very uncoordinated bull, while dodging students and seed alike with quick, messy strafes.

Zell had just had seven cans of the new high proton, high vitamins and high energy drink that's just come out, thinking it would help boost his stamina in training, too bad the only thing it managed to boost was his bladder levels.

Zell really needed the toilet.

He jumped and swerved numerous objects in his path, but then skidded to a halt when suddenly an arm shot out in front of his face holding a small, pink slip of paper, but this was no ordinary paper Zell new.

It was a detention; something he was all too familiar with, but what made Zell stop so suddenly was the arm, well more so the person attached to it.

The one & only: ex and almost fully reformed knight who was now blocking his way.

Yep you guessed it, Seifer Almasy. "Well, if it isn't my favourite victim. So what's got you running around my halls like a headless chicken then, hm?" Zell for once didn't reply, he just gritted his teeth and violently yanked the detention slip from Seifer's hand, hoping he'd get the drift and go away.

Seifer just raised one of his eyebrows and smirked in a smarmy fashion. "Looks like chicken has finally established some restraint on that motor mouth of his." Zell clenched his fists, crumpling the paper in his left hand and squinted his face in desperation.

Seifer not sure whether to be bored or highly amused at the turn of events decided to start hurling the insults and see how long it would take him to crack.

"What's got your fathers in a ruffle, ice princess Squall sent you out to buy him some tampons or have you two just had a lovers tiff, what he wanted a threesome with Irvine…opff, hay I'm gonna have to write you up another detention for that."

Zell's attempt at shoving Seifer out the way was unsuccessful. "Hay man they aren't your halls and don't insult Squall, if it wasn't for him you'd be stuck in some cell rotting away like the waste of space you are."

Seifer had the decency to wince slightly at that, but continued non-the less. "Wow the chicke speaks once more; guess that restraint comes in small doses."

Zell stamped his foot and crouched into a ball holding his head "if you don't get out of my way there is going to be an accident" he said in a low voice. Seifer looked confused for a moment but then replied "was that suppose to be a threat, by any chance have you hit your head in the last five hours because you aren't making any sense."

Zell jumps up and screchess "I need to use the toilet before I piss my pants, now get out of my way you smug bastard" Seifer looked a little startled by that "oh…gross don't just stand there go use the toilet then."

"That's what I have been trying to do" he shouted this while running madly down the hall.

Seifer was not imprested "that's another detention for speeding don't be late."

Zell just waved both hands, fists clenched over his head doing a perfect impression of a crazy person while screaming about the injustice of it all and Seifer just laughed.

When Zell finely reached the toilets after an unfortunate incident that involved a piñata, a bat, a blindfold and his head (which by the way is not full of sweets) he felt a sense of pride and victory, he had finally made it.

Rubbing the back of his now inflated head with a grin from ear to ear he went to go inside, only to be smacked in the face with an out of order sign, no really, hit in the face, hard.

The door was locked and unfortunately for him he liked to enter rooms head first. "ShitWankFuckDuobleWankBuggerGodDamitHellBentOnLeatherMotherFucker."

After the pain dulled and he had a chance to calm down that was when Zell realized he still needed the toilet.

"FuckSonOfABitchFrenchKissMyButHoleBlueBallsGitSissyJackassWanker."

Luckily Zell had no more realizations to make at the moment.

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**To Be Continued...Hope you like the first chapter of my story. **

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